Claustrophobia and travel in Jane Eyre

“I desired more practical experience than I possessed … I shall be called discontented. I could not help it … [human beings] need action”.

Jane Eyre, Chapter 12

I have to admit that when I first read Jane Eyre I didn’t really ‘get it’ (though I didn’t realise that at the time). I really enjoyed it, but Jane would sometimes irritate me when she would say how discontent she was, how she felt so restless. I couldn’t understand why she wasn’t simply happy with her situation – after a few years (and actually thinking about it) I now understand: of course she’s restless, how could she not be!

Thinking back, I should have realised straight away why Jane felt so claustrophobic. Before reading Jane Eyre, I had felt similarly trapped in my surroundings, wanting to travel. When I did read it I had travelled across the globe to Nepal, and was halfway through spending a month there, feeling a sense of freedom from being able to travel freely and explore the beautiful country. I now see this is what Jane wished for, though on a smaller scale – this was, of course an era where travelling by plane wasn’t exactly a reality. Travelling and freedom of movement was denied to her by her status, limited wealth and gender. I understand how ironic it was now – there I was, relaxing and enjoying my time exploring and yet I was unable to adequately comprehend the situation of a woman who longed for this but was unable to realise her dreams.

What caused me to finally see the light? Well, for a start I reread the book. While I enjoyed it the first time I read it, I found that revisiting the story really helped me to appreciate Jane and her situation. It may have also helped that I had returned from the wonders that were Kathmandu, Chitwan and Pokhara and had landed straight back into my day to day life, comfortable and fun but with the claustrophobia always drawing closer. Away from the idyllic setting where I had first visited the book I was able to sympathise with Jane’s troubles. I also did a lot of growing up, and discussed the book with friends who helped me to explore her world more deeply and to think about it further.

Jane Eyre is now a book that reminds me how lucky I am. I have grown up in a world where I can travel freely, comparatively cheaply and with relative ease. My gender is not a barrier to travel – though it does still hold some restrictions on what I can do I am not stopped from journeying in my own society. Unlike Jane I am not limited by the gates of the grounds. I did not have to contemplate marrying someone when I travelled to the African continent.

I would recommend Jane Eyre as a novel: it has a strong storyline, interesting characters and is eloquently written. While Rochester irritates me sometimes the love story between him and Jane is different to most and intriguing for that. I’m not sure what else people would see in it but for me it also serves as a reminder about how the world has changed and how lucky I am. Jane is a strong person, trapped by the circumstances of the day and unable to experience freedom alone. I admire and feel pity for her. It must be suffocating to be so trapped.

Buses in Nepal

Please, don’t get too excited by the title of this post. I know, Nepali buses, thrilling stuff. Try to control yourselves.

I’ve been trying to write a different post for about three weeks now and it is just not working so I thought I’d talk about something a little bit different. And I chose buses in Nepal. Only really makes sense to me to be honest.

Two things need to be made clear at the beginning so that you can fully understand how I feel about buses in Nepal. Number one is that the first long distance bus I travelled on in this beautiful country (approx. 8 hours, Kathmandu to Chitwan) I was extremely hungover. Having gone out the night before to enjoy my last evening in the capital, I drank far too much tequila (Tequila Sunrises, tequila shots, a tequila blend drink called Yak Attack), I was feeling more than a bit fragile. The second is this: I hate heights.

If you are thinking of heading to Nepal and are planning on doing a bit of inter-city travelling while there, keep this in mind. In a country made of mountains there are terrifying drops everywhere.

The Man in Seat 61 tells me there is one train in Nepal, a small line that leads to India. Other than that there are no trains. It just isn’t possible; there are too many mountains. The roads are small and windy – again, it’s in the middle of the Himalayas. I would also recommend to anyone thinking of driving through Nepal to already be a very confident driver in what are frankly chaotic driving conditions.

Nepal – I think the only place I have been thus far that has a pool exclusively for monkeys.

These are not critiques of Nepal, just facts (the driving is crazy, that is the truth). While I do prefer to travel by train, there is something quite amazing about the inability to have a railway system because a mountain is in the way. And I love the craziness of the driving, here and in other countries I’ve visited where it’s a mad game, but I don’t think I would be brave enough to drive in Nepal, especially with those sheer drops I mentioned earlier.

So, I need to get from Kathmandu to Chitwan. I have limited options. The bus it is.

Now, imagine being severely ill (read: hanging) and terrified of heights, travelling in a bus and there is a sheer drop down your right hand side. You’re on the left hand side of the road so you’re coping just fine even if you are a bit groggy. There is an oil tanker ahead of you painted a lovely bright colour as all lorries are in Nepal. This is still good. Then your bus driver decides to overtake the oil tanker. On a blind corner. Remember that sheer drop on your right? It’s suddenly a lot closer. And then there’s a car coming the other way.

Of all the things I remember about travelling by bus in Nepal, this is one of two moments that stands out. The confidence with which everyone drives usually reassures me, but in this instant I was not happy. I can’t really remember what happened next apart from the bus driver emergency stopping and me closing my eyes. In my defence I usually don’t get scared that easily, but I really, really hate heights, and I thought we were about to plunge off the side of a mountain.  I can’t say it was my favourite part of my trip.

However, this experience didn’t put me off travelling by bus in Nepal, partly because there is no other way to travel from city to city, and I still had to go to Pokhara before heading back to Kathmandu (lovely long journeys there too).

I didn’t take any pictures of the view from the bus. This is Lakeside in Pokhara. It was extremely beautiful and this photo does not do it justice.

I said before that I best remember two things about travelling by bus in Nepal. The first was my near-death experience (while that is written sarcastically it didn’t make it any less scary at the time). The second is also the main reason I wasn’t put off travelling by bus in Nepal despite almost falling off a mountain. Quite simply, Nepal is absolutely stunning. I have never seen views that even come close to rivalling those I saw in Nepal. As you sit on the bus, travelling through the tallest mountain range in the world, it doesn’t matter that the driving is erratic. It is so peaceful to sit and watch the beauty unfold. The views are awe-inspiring, even when hungover having been defeated by that most evil of all liquors.

I loved Nepal and am desperate to go back. I loved the people and trying to navigate the traffic. I have some great memories, and I would like to try Yak Attack again (though not the day before a 8 hour drive). But what I really need to return to see are those views again. It was breath taking.